THE TRUTH
by Lauren-sama
Summary: [Megaman X] Apparently, Zero has a secret. Clearly, X is traumatized. Tragically, they fight about it, but then there's ice cream afterwards.


WARNING: Beware of parody, gender confusion, blatant OOC-ness, and the blather that is an author's first Megaman X fanfiction.

[setting: a room, empty minus great abundances of paperwork scattered about and two Maverick Hunters, standing face-to-face. A bell rings.]

"Oh my god!" X stared at Zero, incredulous horror in his eyes. "I--I can't believe it!"

            "…Can't believe what?" Zero asked, confused.

            "I never knew!"

            "Huh?"

            "I mean--this is such a shock! I thought we were friends, Zero… I thought you could have told me something like this…"

            "Umm… Not sure if you're aware, X, but you're not making much sense here…"

            "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ACTUALLY A MAN!" X cried melodramatically.

            Zero stared.

            "…_What_?" he demanded.

            "I… oh, Zero…" X breathed. "I don't even know if I can look at you now… Now that I know… _the truth._" He closed his eyes, deeply pained.

            "_Truth_?" Zero repeated. "What truth?!"

            "I… I've known you for years… We've been buddies since… oh, I don't know…"

            "Are you telling me," he demanded, "that you've been having so much as a moment's question about my gender?"

            X stopped his lament to stare, wide-eyed, at Zero.

            "…You thought I _knew_ this?" he asked incredulously.

            "Well, obviously!" Zero spluttered. "I--I can't believe you'd even think for half a second that I was-"

            "-but your _hair!" X cried. "Your long, feminine golden hair! Your girlish figure!"_

            "My WHAT?!"

            "Those suspiciously-placed orbs on your chest! It couldn't be clearer!"

            It took Zero a moment to recover from this.

            "…So, let me get this straight," he said in an oddly-calm voice. "As you said, we've known each other for years. We've done stuff together. We've killed robots. We've eaten ice cream. Stuff. And throughout this whole experience, this whole best buddyship thing we've had going, during which (might I add) I've been _reeking of manly physique, you've _never been able to successfully guess my gender_?!"_

            "Well, _obviously not!" X retorted tearfully. "How else could this come as such a shock to me?! You're being so insensitive!"_

            "_I'm being insensitive?" Zero repeated. "_I'm_ being insensitive?! Do you realize how badly you're insulting my manhood?!"_

            At the word 'manhood,' X immediately broke down into hysterical sobs.

            "This can't be happening!" he wailed piteously. "No! This--this is _wrong!_ I should never have shared my ice cream with you!"

            Zero went red. "And I," he growled, "should have never paid for that ice cream in the first place!"

"Of course you'd say that, you _selfish male pig!"_

"You're one to talk! You're so girly I'm surprised the mistake didn't work the other way around!"

"I'll never help you out with your office work again!" X shouted.

"Oh yeah?!" Zero retorted. "Well--well, listen to this! I hate you, so there!"

            There was, predictably enough, a dramatic silence.

            "…W--wait… no…" X whispered, looking up fearfully. "…You don't really mean that, do you Zero?"

            "Huh?" Completely blown by the 180-degree moodswing, Zero blinked.

            "Do you really hate me?" he asked anxiously. "After all these years we've spent as friends?"

            "What? Ah… wait…" he sputtered awkwardly. "Um… no, no, I guess it's not like that…"

            "Really?"

            "…Yeah…"

            "Oh, Zero!" X cried, a smile lighting up his teary-eyed face. "I'm so happy!"

            "I'm confused."

            "Let's never ever _ever_ fight again, okay?"

            "…Okay, sure…"

            "We'll be best buddies forever!"

            "Whatever you say," he sighed, giving himself up as lost.

            "And let's go out for ice cream, just to settle it! A 'let's-make-up' thing!"

            Zero took a moment longer to reply to this, watching X suspiciously.

            "…As long as you're paying," he agreed grudgingly, allowing the other Maverick Hunter to gleefully take his hand and pull him out of the office.


End file.
